Thomas! I know it’s easier said than done but do not worry about the weight you have put on. You still look absolutely fantastic. You look happy. Your husband looks happy. And you’re both clearly doing such a great job at raising your children by how happy they always look too. You’re beautiful inside and out, mate!
New subscriber here, and already loving this community with so many loving comments. Your essay on the relationship with your body and fitness felt very close to home. I grew up as a skinny boy (I even went to the doctor a couple times for help to gain weight), sometimes event embarrassed of taking my shirt off since I felt too thin. And I always hated doing sports or working out (and also it wasn’t that common for kids in the 90s). After turning 30 things started to change, of course, I started gaining weight, and after turning 35 it started to be more and more difficult to find myself in my new body. I’m 43 now and I still struggle with this. I don’t know how to dress because what in my mind always looked good on me and was the style I wanted to myself now feels completely off. Getting older, getting heavier, and not having had a good relationship with fitness is making things hard sometimes. I HATE working out, I’m still on that phase, so I just don’t do it. No motivation whatsoever, even when I don’t like what I see in the mirror sometimes. Wow, lots of sudden venting, sorry if too much for a first comment, but this first post really hit close to home. Thank you for sharing and making me understand it’s not just me.
This is exactly what happened to me. I gained around 30 pounds starting in 2020 and have now lost almost 40! It’s all mindset for me and I’m so thankful to have found motivation.
Recently joined today and am happy I did! Your essay hits home with me. I grew up sickly and a kid and growing up my weight always fluctuated. However, now recently turned 30, it’s harder to lose the weight I’ve gained.
I was a swimmer and played lacrosse at university, but after I graduated I kinda of fell off the wagon, and finding a pool for whatever reason was hard.
Doing my best to get back to where I was. Here’s to sticking to it!
I'm not sure which one is you and which is your boyfriend/partner/husband (?) in the pictures above, but can I say -- you both look great in every pic. I mean, jaw-droppingly, envy-inducingly handsome. I'm an older gay man who might as well be on another planet in terms of my weight and musculature but, interestingly, we have some of the same insecurities. It's weird. I tell myself that if only I looked like you I wouldn't feel insecure at all. Apparently, that's not true.
Love your newsletter. Also, the picture you posted where someone made the comment about your weight gain..ummm, you don’t look overweight AT ALL! Honestly, you look pretty amazing!
I’ve always thought that you both are handsome men with good bodies but not caught up in the current craze of abs that show up after days of dehydration. Looks great on the 20-something’s but not realistic or appropriate for most. How many great actors of the Hollywood heyday would even get a job these days. Bogart wasn’t a looker but he was one of our greatest actors of his time. Thomas, I’m sure those extra 30 pounds worry you but you are young enough to get them off. Good luck!
Thomas, I have thoughts that many people feel the same way about their bodies/working out. I also have never gotten that rush of endorphins or sense of satisfaction from working out, but it helps greatly to experiment with and find that one form of exercise that you can enjoy. It has taken me the better part of 30 years to do so, lol!
Thank you for the recommendations, I loved the part of Rajiv’s home tour where he said having things that are not only useful, but beautiful make everyday chores less mundane-so true!
This was a great way to launch this new venture! Body image is such a big thing in today's environments. I have struggled with eating disorders at different times in my life. I was very heavy in high school, and right after I graduated I lost over 100 lbs in 6 months. Very unhealthy! After some time, and healing, I maintained a healthier weight for many years. In my 40s, my body changed again. I gained a bunch of weight, and I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. Now, however, I have accepted my body. I don't feel ugly or fat. Yes, I'm 325 lbs now. But, for the first time in my life, I'm comfortable in my own skin.
Congrats on the first issue and well done! I hope you got the books for the kiddos, and that they cherish them as I did growing up.
Thanks so much Thomas for your open discussion with body image and exercise. As someone who has lived with weight issues and body image struggles for almost all of my 59 years, I’m always amazed at the commonness of these struggles. You never know what someone is going through or dealing with, therefore we should just be kind to one another. I think you and your husband are beautiful men inside and out. I have followed you guys for a long time and the positivity and joy you bring into my life is immeasurable. You nailed this first issue of Okay McKay. I am impatiently waiting for the next one. Love ya guys!!
Loved this first newsletter! First off, congrats on the first one! So exciting! Secondly, this really spoke to me. I am also someone who has experienced a similar mindset in regards to body image and weight gain/loss. I’m currently in a hardcore fitness journey which I am excited about and seeing results, but I am so nervous for the after. My question for you is, what are some sustainable habits or goals that you have created that help you stay motivated/in a healthy lifestyle? I am just nervous that when my fitness challenge is “over” that I will go right back to old/bad habits. Anyways, you both are amazing and I’m so excited for this!
honestly the biggest habit we have to keep us motivated is a routine. so it's wake up, drop kids off at school, laundry/pick up around the house, then head to the gym, then eat lunch, etc. etc. We go Monday through Friday and then sometimes PJ will go again on the weekends.
Thomas, Thank you for your thoughts, your openness. Thank you for talking about such a tough subject. Only you can control how you feel and your reactions. Thank you for being strong. You are a guiding light.
Thomas as someone that is 70 years old I am letting you know that I have NEVER went without a Shirt, so I understand what you are going through. I get a Free Gym membership but I can’t bring myself to go and join. I do exercise at home but If I had someone to go to the gym with like you do it would make all the difference. I think you are in Great Shape, but I Also understand what you think about your Body. You have PJ and 3 Beautiful Kids that Love You and All of US, we Love You and PJ !! It is extremely Brave of you to talk about this with us, just keep up the Positive Thoughts!!
Thank you Thomas for sharing such personal thoughts. I too have struggled with body image and am currently on my weight loss and gym journey. I would love to know what your and PJs gym routines are and how long you spend at the gym. My routine is really basic and I’m at that plateau stage but don’t know what to do to change it.
Oh dear beautiful Thomas. Thank you for sharing this very personal and vulnerable piece of yourself. I can relate. As someone who isn't too tall, who has been smallish my entire life and going to someone who gained approximately 20kg (I think about 40lbs) in a short time, I was devastated. I was uncomfortable, people commented...I hated it. I'm also not really into exercise, but slowly but surely I changed some habits and most importantly I made peace with my body. I started losing weight...I feel better, not where I used to be, to be honest, I don't think I want to be that thin again. My message to you is you do you. If you want to lose weight so that you feel better, you go ahead. Keyboard worriers need to start thinking about the consequences to their actions. You may have had a medical reason for gaining weight...it is not others' place to judge, we don't know each others' struggles. Love this letter, love watching you and your family, love the vino and vent sessions...🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 (a hug for each of the McKay's)
Thomas! I know it’s easier said than done but do not worry about the weight you have put on. You still look absolutely fantastic. You look happy. Your husband looks happy. And you’re both clearly doing such a great job at raising your children by how happy they always look too. You’re beautiful inside and out, mate!
New subscriber here, and already loving this community with so many loving comments. Your essay on the relationship with your body and fitness felt very close to home. I grew up as a skinny boy (I even went to the doctor a couple times for help to gain weight), sometimes event embarrassed of taking my shirt off since I felt too thin. And I always hated doing sports or working out (and also it wasn’t that common for kids in the 90s). After turning 30 things started to change, of course, I started gaining weight, and after turning 35 it started to be more and more difficult to find myself in my new body. I’m 43 now and I still struggle with this. I don’t know how to dress because what in my mind always looked good on me and was the style I wanted to myself now feels completely off. Getting older, getting heavier, and not having had a good relationship with fitness is making things hard sometimes. I HATE working out, I’m still on that phase, so I just don’t do it. No motivation whatsoever, even when I don’t like what I see in the mirror sometimes. Wow, lots of sudden venting, sorry if too much for a first comment, but this first post really hit close to home. Thank you for sharing and making me understand it’s not just me.
This is exactly what happened to me. I gained around 30 pounds starting in 2020 and have now lost almost 40! It’s all mindset for me and I’m so thankful to have found motivation.
Recently joined today and am happy I did! Your essay hits home with me. I grew up sickly and a kid and growing up my weight always fluctuated. However, now recently turned 30, it’s harder to lose the weight I’ve gained.
I was a swimmer and played lacrosse at university, but after I graduated I kinda of fell off the wagon, and finding a pool for whatever reason was hard.
Doing my best to get back to where I was. Here’s to sticking to it!
I'm not sure which one is you and which is your boyfriend/partner/husband (?) in the pictures above, but can I say -- you both look great in every pic. I mean, jaw-droppingly, envy-inducingly handsome. I'm an older gay man who might as well be on another planet in terms of my weight and musculature but, interestingly, we have some of the same insecurities. It's weird. I tell myself that if only I looked like you I wouldn't feel insecure at all. Apparently, that's not true.
Love your newsletter. Also, the picture you posted where someone made the comment about your weight gain..ummm, you don’t look overweight AT ALL! Honestly, you look pretty amazing!
thank you, Kathy!!!
I’ve always thought that you both are handsome men with good bodies but not caught up in the current craze of abs that show up after days of dehydration. Looks great on the 20-something’s but not realistic or appropriate for most. How many great actors of the Hollywood heyday would even get a job these days. Bogart wasn’t a looker but he was one of our greatest actors of his time. Thomas, I’m sure those extra 30 pounds worry you but you are young enough to get them off. Good luck!
Join the crowd!
Thomas, I have thoughts that many people feel the same way about their bodies/working out. I also have never gotten that rush of endorphins or sense of satisfaction from working out, but it helps greatly to experiment with and find that one form of exercise that you can enjoy. It has taken me the better part of 30 years to do so, lol!
Thank you for the recommendations, I loved the part of Rajiv’s home tour where he said having things that are not only useful, but beautiful make everyday chores less mundane-so true!
Great first issue, looking forward to more!
yes, I loved that part of the tour, too Rebecca!! also, I am glad you can relate to never getting those rush of endorphins!
This was a great way to launch this new venture! Body image is such a big thing in today's environments. I have struggled with eating disorders at different times in my life. I was very heavy in high school, and right after I graduated I lost over 100 lbs in 6 months. Very unhealthy! After some time, and healing, I maintained a healthier weight for many years. In my 40s, my body changed again. I gained a bunch of weight, and I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. Now, however, I have accepted my body. I don't feel ugly or fat. Yes, I'm 325 lbs now. But, for the first time in my life, I'm comfortable in my own skin.
Congrats on the first issue and well done! I hope you got the books for the kiddos, and that they cherish them as I did growing up.
Thanks so much Thomas for your open discussion with body image and exercise. As someone who has lived with weight issues and body image struggles for almost all of my 59 years, I’m always amazed at the commonness of these struggles. You never know what someone is going through or dealing with, therefore we should just be kind to one another. I think you and your husband are beautiful men inside and out. I have followed you guys for a long time and the positivity and joy you bring into my life is immeasurable. You nailed this first issue of Okay McKay. I am impatiently waiting for the next one. Love ya guys!!
Loved this first newsletter! First off, congrats on the first one! So exciting! Secondly, this really spoke to me. I am also someone who has experienced a similar mindset in regards to body image and weight gain/loss. I’m currently in a hardcore fitness journey which I am excited about and seeing results, but I am so nervous for the after. My question for you is, what are some sustainable habits or goals that you have created that help you stay motivated/in a healthy lifestyle? I am just nervous that when my fitness challenge is “over” that I will go right back to old/bad habits. Anyways, you both are amazing and I’m so excited for this!
thank you Edison!
honestly the biggest habit we have to keep us motivated is a routine. so it's wake up, drop kids off at school, laundry/pick up around the house, then head to the gym, then eat lunch, etc. etc. We go Monday through Friday and then sometimes PJ will go again on the weekends.
Yes, I’m finding that routine is key and has been what has kept me both motivated but also just mentally checked in too. Thanks for the reply!
Thomas, Thank you for your thoughts, your openness. Thank you for talking about such a tough subject. Only you can control how you feel and your reactions. Thank you for being strong. You are a guiding light.
you are so kind, Natasha, as always. love to you xoxo
Thomas as someone that is 70 years old I am letting you know that I have NEVER went without a Shirt, so I understand what you are going through. I get a Free Gym membership but I can’t bring myself to go and join. I do exercise at home but If I had someone to go to the gym with like you do it would make all the difference. I think you are in Great Shape, but I Also understand what you think about your Body. You have PJ and 3 Beautiful Kids that Love You and All of US, we Love You and PJ !! It is extremely Brave of you to talk about this with us, just keep up the Positive Thoughts!!
Love You, thr other Thomas
you are the absolute sweetest, Thomas. thank you for reading!
Supposed to say the other Thomas
Thank you Thomas for sharing such personal thoughts. I too have struggled with body image and am currently on my weight loss and gym journey. I would love to know what your and PJs gym routines are and how long you spend at the gym. My routine is really basic and I’m at that plateau stage but don’t know what to do to change it.
thanks for reading, Matt! I am actually planning to share our workout routine in an upcoming newsletter!
Oh dear beautiful Thomas. Thank you for sharing this very personal and vulnerable piece of yourself. I can relate. As someone who isn't too tall, who has been smallish my entire life and going to someone who gained approximately 20kg (I think about 40lbs) in a short time, I was devastated. I was uncomfortable, people commented...I hated it. I'm also not really into exercise, but slowly but surely I changed some habits and most importantly I made peace with my body. I started losing weight...I feel better, not where I used to be, to be honest, I don't think I want to be that thin again. My message to you is you do you. If you want to lose weight so that you feel better, you go ahead. Keyboard worriers need to start thinking about the consequences to their actions. You may have had a medical reason for gaining weight...it is not others' place to judge, we don't know each others' struggles. Love this letter, love watching you and your family, love the vino and vent sessions...🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 (a hug for each of the McKay's)
thank you for sharing. this is what it is all about!! so much love to you and a big ole virtual hug xo