First of all, you guys are the only subscription that I have. I really enjoy your content. It’s so joyful and peaceful. So thanks for that!
As far as bullies go, they are a huge pet leave of mine. When my son was in middle school, he was bullied terribly. He was always the shortest in his grades. He has ADHD and he is high functioning Asperger’s. Every year kids would tell him he was annoying and short. That was as bad as it got until middle school. During that time, his dad (my husband at the time) came out and we were divorced. We were not a homophobic family and did the best we could when you have to separate homes. There was a group of kids that were relentless, but one in particular that would text my son and tell him awful things. He told him he was going to ma wind up gay like his dad and fat like his mom. My son is adopted so he was also teased about his “real mom” not wanting him. Eventually the kid started sending him messages that he should just kill himself and do everyone a favor. That was the day I went straight to the school, who could never do anything, and had the kid expelled. When I think about that kid, I know he was from a divorced home, dad was rarely around and a new stepdad was taking all mom’s time and was his new disciplinarian. He was obviously deflecting his own pain onto my son. But I had to protect my son and hope someone would help that boy. After years of counseling and plenty of psychiatric work, Ryan is a well adjusted 21 year old. But what if we as his parents hadn’t stood up for him? He had two other friends that committed suicide due to bullying. I know that it could have easily been my son too if I hadn’t paid attention.
My advice is that middle school is the worst. Keep the kids involved in activities with their peers. Keep them off social media and monitor texting when they get phones. Stay involved in their school lives and keep talking. Your keep and delete is the perfect time to start conversations. Kids are going to be ugly because they are missing something vital at home.
You are beautiful parents that model love and good morals to your kids. I think you will be able to handle whatever comes your way but don’t be afraid to get professional help when necessary.
oh my goodness, Christine!! first off, thank you SO much for subscribing!
secondly, I can't thank you enough for your input. I just read this message out loud to PJ and it started an entire discussion. I absolutely HATE that your son went through it, but it just shows, with good parenting (you!) that kids will make it through. thank goodness you paid attention and did something about it. so many children aren't as fortunate as you son was with you.
I love your advice and I am so grateful for it. thank you, Christine!
I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve never actually seen the original “Mean Girls” movie, but I have heard some of the songs from the Broadway musical on the SiriusXM station I listen to, and the ones I’ve heard have been pretty clever. I’m sorry to hear about Riah’s experience with a bully and kid and glad to hear that the people at Disney handled it so well. I’m not sure there is a way to avoid having something like that happen when there are still adults out there who I’m sure say terribly homophobic things in front of their kids. Plus, kids can be cruel anyway, but it does sound like your kids are, as you say, pretty resilient. It also seems clear that they love both of you and maybe for that reason take it more to heart. From what I can see, and admittedly, there’s a lot in your lives that none of us see, the two of you are handling these kinds of situations exactly right.
All three little McKays couldn't have fallen into better hands than PJ's and Thomas'. What extraordinary men who each appear to have taken to fatherhood like ducks to water. The horrors that face children in school should not occur but sadly are just too heartbreakingly real. It's so painful that kids are made to suffer by other kids but it's a regrettable life lesson experienced by way too many of us during our lifetimes. It's gratifying to read stories about how capably the little ones are defended and protected.
I do feel like it's a universal feeling: being picked on at school for SOMETHING at least once in your life, no matter how big or small. we all experience feelings of "otherness" in some capacity. this just happens to be our children's, and it breaks my heart, but I do know in the long run that we will al come out of it okay. sending love to you, Dan!!!
What a great story about Sarah and the way she handled the bullying situation so beautifully, even more so that you felt appreciative and supported! As an educator, I agree that it would be a lot to expect someone to contact you for every situation your kids may experience at school. That being said, if the teacher found it so important that she had the students go to the counselor to discuss the issue, you should have been informed. I think (from the stories you told and the little glimpses we get) you handle these situations better than most. It’s important to keep the lines of communication open so that your children feel comfortable when they want to talk to to their dads about difficulties (or successes) and to know you are there to support them or guide them when they make mistakes so they learn to be their best selves. Bullying is serious and I agree with Christine that the worst of it usually happens in middle school, unfortunately the struggle to find one’s sense of self is heightened during puberty. Sadly, my son also lost a couple friends when they lost their will to deal with the stress of this turbulent time. Keep doing what you’re doing - teaching them to be accepting of differences and kind to others. You are wonderful and loving dads to your kiddos and it’s evident even in the content you share, mere moments in your lives! Much love 💙
Becca!! thank you for sharing your insight, especially as an educator yourself, as it's sooo helpful for those of us on the other side. I do hope that our explaining and teaching that everyone is different and to accept those who don't look or act or sound etc. like you sticks with them throughout their live, and that they put it to use in those moments when no one is around to see. we thank you so much for sharing. love to you xoxo
Bullying is a lifelong problem for everyone. When adults get bullied it is usually in the form of trying to take something of value. This is why we have arbitrators and lawyers. When countries bully one another we have wars. We must defend ourselves and eventually negotiate a settlement. Fortunately, not a large part of our lives is spent dealing with bullies but they can’t be allowed to control our lives.
First of all, you guys are the only subscription that I have. I really enjoy your content. It’s so joyful and peaceful. So thanks for that!
As far as bullies go, they are a huge pet leave of mine. When my son was in middle school, he was bullied terribly. He was always the shortest in his grades. He has ADHD and he is high functioning Asperger’s. Every year kids would tell him he was annoying and short. That was as bad as it got until middle school. During that time, his dad (my husband at the time) came out and we were divorced. We were not a homophobic family and did the best we could when you have to separate homes. There was a group of kids that were relentless, but one in particular that would text my son and tell him awful things. He told him he was going to ma wind up gay like his dad and fat like his mom. My son is adopted so he was also teased about his “real mom” not wanting him. Eventually the kid started sending him messages that he should just kill himself and do everyone a favor. That was the day I went straight to the school, who could never do anything, and had the kid expelled. When I think about that kid, I know he was from a divorced home, dad was rarely around and a new stepdad was taking all mom’s time and was his new disciplinarian. He was obviously deflecting his own pain onto my son. But I had to protect my son and hope someone would help that boy. After years of counseling and plenty of psychiatric work, Ryan is a well adjusted 21 year old. But what if we as his parents hadn’t stood up for him? He had two other friends that committed suicide due to bullying. I know that it could have easily been my son too if I hadn’t paid attention.
My advice is that middle school is the worst. Keep the kids involved in activities with their peers. Keep them off social media and monitor texting when they get phones. Stay involved in their school lives and keep talking. Your keep and delete is the perfect time to start conversations. Kids are going to be ugly because they are missing something vital at home.
You are beautiful parents that model love and good morals to your kids. I think you will be able to handle whatever comes your way but don’t be afraid to get professional help when necessary.
oh my goodness, Christine!! first off, thank you SO much for subscribing!
secondly, I can't thank you enough for your input. I just read this message out loud to PJ and it started an entire discussion. I absolutely HATE that your son went through it, but it just shows, with good parenting (you!) that kids will make it through. thank goodness you paid attention and did something about it. so many children aren't as fortunate as you son was with you.
I love your advice and I am so grateful for it. thank you, Christine!
I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve never actually seen the original “Mean Girls” movie, but I have heard some of the songs from the Broadway musical on the SiriusXM station I listen to, and the ones I’ve heard have been pretty clever. I’m sorry to hear about Riah’s experience with a bully and kid and glad to hear that the people at Disney handled it so well. I’m not sure there is a way to avoid having something like that happen when there are still adults out there who I’m sure say terribly homophobic things in front of their kids. Plus, kids can be cruel anyway, but it does sound like your kids are, as you say, pretty resilient. It also seems clear that they love both of you and maybe for that reason take it more to heart. From what I can see, and admittedly, there’s a lot in your lives that none of us see, the two of you are handling these kinds of situations exactly right.
you are so sweet, Lane. thank you.
I am offended, though, that you've never seen the original Mean Girls! it is one of my favorite movies and I need you to watch it ASAP!!!! xo
All three little McKays couldn't have fallen into better hands than PJ's and Thomas'. What extraordinary men who each appear to have taken to fatherhood like ducks to water. The horrors that face children in school should not occur but sadly are just too heartbreakingly real. It's so painful that kids are made to suffer by other kids but it's a regrettable life lesson experienced by way too many of us during our lifetimes. It's gratifying to read stories about how capably the little ones are defended and protected.
I do feel like it's a universal feeling: being picked on at school for SOMETHING at least once in your life, no matter how big or small. we all experience feelings of "otherness" in some capacity. this just happens to be our children's, and it breaks my heart, but I do know in the long run that we will al come out of it okay. sending love to you, Dan!!!
What a great story about Sarah and the way she handled the bullying situation so beautifully, even more so that you felt appreciative and supported! As an educator, I agree that it would be a lot to expect someone to contact you for every situation your kids may experience at school. That being said, if the teacher found it so important that she had the students go to the counselor to discuss the issue, you should have been informed. I think (from the stories you told and the little glimpses we get) you handle these situations better than most. It’s important to keep the lines of communication open so that your children feel comfortable when they want to talk to to their dads about difficulties (or successes) and to know you are there to support them or guide them when they make mistakes so they learn to be their best selves. Bullying is serious and I agree with Christine that the worst of it usually happens in middle school, unfortunately the struggle to find one’s sense of self is heightened during puberty. Sadly, my son also lost a couple friends when they lost their will to deal with the stress of this turbulent time. Keep doing what you’re doing - teaching them to be accepting of differences and kind to others. You are wonderful and loving dads to your kiddos and it’s evident even in the content you share, mere moments in your lives! Much love 💙
Becca!! thank you for sharing your insight, especially as an educator yourself, as it's sooo helpful for those of us on the other side. I do hope that our explaining and teaching that everyone is different and to accept those who don't look or act or sound etc. like you sticks with them throughout their live, and that they put it to use in those moments when no one is around to see. we thank you so much for sharing. love to you xoxo
Bullying is a lifelong problem for everyone. When adults get bullied it is usually in the form of trying to take something of value. This is why we have arbitrators and lawyers. When countries bully one another we have wars. We must defend ourselves and eventually negotiate a settlement. Fortunately, not a large part of our lives is spent dealing with bullies but they can’t be allowed to control our lives.
ALL. OF. THIS.
I have never in my life thought about it like this before, but you somehow put it into words, Billy. thank you friend. xoxo
Wow, I really wasn’t expecting that. Thanks for the compliment.
love to you!!!