13 Years Later, We'll Always Have New York
13 Years Later, We'll Always Have New York
The story (and feeeeelings) of how we spent a few days in New York City after being together for a couple of months, plus an announcement!
I came across this old photo of us the other day at PJ’s Mammaw’s house. It feels weird saying “old” because, at 32, I don’t feel old enough to be saying old about anything. But I guess the truth is, it is an old photo. It was taken on either a disposable camera or an electronic one, because it was printed out and has an early 2000’s-y look to it. And okay it was taken in 2010, so I guess a 13-year old photo does qualify as “old”.
I was 19 and he was 24. We had been dating for about 3 months at the time, and I was in love. I mean, head over heels, butterflies in your stomach at all times in love. We were in the honeymoon phase of our relationship and everything was perfect. I loved every single thing about him. We hadn’t argued about anything yet; we hadn’t broken up or said or done things we wish we hadn’t. It was that early-stage, heart-pounding, everything is total bliss time of the relationship when you first start dating someone and I knew, even then, that I wanted to spend my entire life with this man.
At this point in time, I had told PJ I loved him one night as we sat on the bed in his tiny bedroom in the first house he ever bought and fixed up. He didn’t quite say it back, and I don’t fault him for that; he had just gotten out of a three year relationship and needed time to heal and regain a sense of self.
I think I said those three magic words around December 10th, and just a week later, on December 17th, we would pack our bags and hop on a plane (my first plane ride, btw!!) and fly off to New York City. What an exhilarating time. I would spend a few days in my favorite city in the world with the guy I had ben dreaming about since I was 15 and his family that I didn’t know existed four months before. What was life?
The photo at the top was taken at an airport restaurant that I remember stopping in and sitting at this bar facing the wall, but I can’t remember anything else about it. Did we eat there? How long was our layover? Did we get something to drink? I can’t remember much, but I do remember being in a state of awe the entire time. So this is what it feels like to be in love, I thought. This is what dating someone you have real feelings for is. This is what traveling with your boyfriend is like. Heck, this is what it’s like to have a boyfriend. I had waited my entire life for something like this to happen to me, and it was. Finally.
New York City in December is magical. If you’ve never been, I highly recommend you find a way to visit! The city was decorated for Christmas, and all the wonder and splendor of the city dressed up in its holiday best was intoxicating. I was on cloud nine the entire time.
We stayed at the Warwick Hotel and had a huge living room with multiple bedrooms off of it. It was the nicest hotel I had ever been in. We even got our own room. The soaps smelled like heaven and the view was incredible. We ate gyro from food trucks every day as we walked around the city exploring, making our way through Central Park all bundled up in our scarves and mittens because it was absolutely freezing. The wind was hitting my face so hard I thought my skin might fall off. But inside, I was content and warm.
We were on Fifth Avenue when he asked me.
We had just come out of the Apple Store looking at the newest iPhone, and it was late in the afternoon. I figured we would make our way back to the hotel and get ready for dinner that night. It was cold, so very cold, so I wrapped my scarf around my neck as we made our way out of the store. PJ grabbed me and brought me over to some little tables and had kind of a sly, nervous smile on his face.
And then, out of nowhere, he asked me to be his boyfriend.
We had already been dating for a few months, and I had actually asked him out first back in October, but the reality of his recent breakup was so fresh that maybe there was still some uncertainty there. We were official, but PJ asking me to be his boyfriend in New York City was his way of telling me he wanted me and only me, and he was 100% sure,
Up until that point, I don’t think I had ever been so happy in my life as I was right then. He immediately whipped his camera out to remember the exact moment when two small-town guys told one another they loved each other on the streets of New York.
I was 19 and he was 24 and for a short time, life was perfect, as it often is in those first few months of young love. I look back on that time in my life with so much warmth and love and appreciation for our story and how it’s evolved over the years. We’ve had many ups and downs, and our marriage is something we’re both constantly working on, because, like any relationship in your life, you have to put in the time and effort in order for it to be successful.
But we’ll always have New York, won’t we? New York, where I held PJ’s hand for the first time in public as we made our way through Times Square, my heart pounding in my chest the entire time, not from nerves but from the sheer exhilaration of strangers knowing he was mine. New York, where we saw Florence & The Machine belt “Cosmic Love” on David Letterman as Matt Damon promoted his new movie.
New York, where I made us walk for over an hour to some spot I read was romantic on some blog, but when we got there, it turned out to be nothing and I felt so upset and embarrassed and defeated, but he pulled me close and told me it was okay.
I don’t think I can adequately express what that trip meant to me. I certainly didn’t know it back then, but it was the beginning of everything. The first of many trips we would end up taking together, and traveling with PJ is still one of my favorite things in life.
I can’t wait to go back one day, only this time we’ll have three more people by our side to experience the magic of New York with.
The Weekly Digest
Watch: Nuovo Olimpo
I came across this movie randomly the other night while we were sitting on the couch and decided to press play. I wasn’t sure what I was getting into, but I am so glad I took a chance. What a beautiful, heartbreaking film. It follows the lives of two Italian men through decades of their lives, beginning in the Years of Lead period of the 1970’s, all the way up to present day. It’s a story of how the choices we make, and the choices the universe makes for us, affect our lives in ways we can never imagine. There’s also quite a bit of full frontal nudity, which I was not expecting! All in all, I highly recommend this film!
You can watch Nuovo Olimpo on Netflix
Read: House Call with Kate Arends
I subscribe to
of the blog Wit & Delight and I love reading her heartfelt and insightful posts. Her most recent newsletter, titled How I’m Prioritizing Peace of Mind This Holiday Season, had a paragraph that stuck out to me, especially as a parent:“It’s the hap-happiest season of allll!!! Said everyone who wasn’t the primary “holiday magic maker.” For many of us, this season is the happiest, but it is also filled with to-do lists, social schedules, and the physical labor that goes into wrapping, stuffing, decorating, baking, and socializing.
The holiday season is a bit more complicated as my kids grow up. These past few years, I’ve put a lot of effort into making holiday magic happen. In a lot of ways, it feels like a trap. But the trap is of my own making—and for a while, I didn’t even realize I was the one who created it. *I* decide if I want to pressure myself to do it all, not “the season.”
Isn’t that so true? We put so much pressure on ourselves to have the “perfect” holiday season that we sometimes end up too worn out and exhausted to even enjoy it all. I am taking her words to heart this season and not letting myself get burned out by all the work this time of year calls for.
Listen: Lunch Therapy with Adam Roberts
I came across Lunch Therapy with
by way of his addicting newsletter, The Amateur Gourmet. I am also a huge fan of Amanda Hesser, co-founder of Food 52. She is an incredible writer and business person and I am so inspired by her whole deal. In this episode, Adam interviews Amanda about starting Food 52, how she is really a self-taught writer, and her delicious lunch she had the day before. It’s a fun, cozy little listen that I couldn’t get enough of.You can listen to it here.
Inspiration
Isn’t this the coziest little doodle? It’s how I envision us spending our life during the cold winter months, via kristinakemenikova
Loving
40 oz Stanley Tumbler. I take mine with me everywhere.
Fossil Smart Watch. I have this navy one and absolutely love it.
Hand warmers. How great would these be this winter?
Q&A
You asked, we’re answering
Q: Favorite interior wall color for either whole house or specific rooms? Thanks!
A: Our favorite neutral paint color is Urban Putty by Sherwin Williams. We love it so much, in fact, that we painted our entire house this color. We’ve slowly started adding more moody paint colors to certain rooms over the years, but our front room, office, dining room, and upstairs hallway is all Urban Putty. It looks especially good against trim that is painted Dover White.
Q: How do you guys make enough income from just being home?
A: We randomly talked money and income on this past weekend’s Vino & Vent, answering someone else’s question, but I get it, people are curious. We make money from social media (our full-time job), along with real estate. We have flipped and sold a house almost every year for the last however many years, and it’s what we’ve always done and probably always will do, no matter what our career is. As for social media, if you would have told us 10 years ago that you could make a full-time living off posting online, I don’t think either of us would have believed you. But you can! It’s a lot of work and crazy hours, but it’s been our favorite job we’ve ever had. We’ve been doing social media for eight years now and still get so much creative fulfillment out of it. Hope you stay with us as long as we’re here!
That’s all for this week, dear readers. One more thing: Going forward, this newsletter will publish new issues every Tuesday instead of every Friday. If you’re subscribed, you will still receive Okay McKay in your inbox, but just on a new day now! Thanks, as always, for being here with us, and have a lovely week!! xoxo
I have been to New York City several times in my life, but most of them were in the summer, and none of them were at Christmas time. Someday I think I would really like to do that. 13 years ago doesn’t feel all that long ago to me, but then it is a much smaller percentage of my lifetime than it is of either of yours. I will say that I guess for you, at 19 it probably seemed like “finally I have a boyfriend,” even though at 19 I was still desperately trying to be anything but gay, much less to have a boyfriend. And to find that special someone that young sounds amazing to someone like me who never found that special someone. But I’m very glad you did so that I and the rest of those who follow you could share vicariously in the terrific life you have both made for yourselves.
Wow, What a Love story it’s wonderful to know that Love is real, y’all prove it’s possible. Thomas I watched that movie on Netflix NUOVO OLIMPO that you recommended, IT WAS GREAT!!! And yes I did cry a little. I will watch it again to catch what I missed the first time, as you probably know you always miss something.
Be Careful and stay Safe, the “other” Thomas