Does Size Really Matter?
In a world that tells us bigger is always better, how big is big enough? Here's my take on it.
We’ve had the windows and doors open the last couple of days. The 70 degree weather is producing the dreamiest spring-like breeze that’s wafting through the house and making it feel much less like winter than it actually is.
I adore the colder, darker months probably more than anyone, but with this little taste of warmer weather I must confess, I am suddenly craving spring. We’ve also been itching to go to our little beach shack lately, even if the water won’t be warm enough to swim in just yet. What about you? Are you ready for spring, too?
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We’re heading to the beach in a few weeks, and now that the weather is heating up, we’re so excited to pack our favorite shorts to wear down there (we have them in the medium size). PJ has one in every color, but I find myself so drawn to the navy color. Perfect for ocean, nautical vibes, right?
LGBTQIA+
Does Size Really Matter?
If you’ve spent more than five minutes on the internet as a gay man, you already know the answer most people think is correct: Bigger is better, bigger is hotter, and bigger wins every time.
But, get this: According to several sexual health studies, the average erect penis size falls somewhere between 5 and 5.5 inches. But when you look at mainstream gay porn, performers are very often well above that average. In fact, some estimates suggest that a large percentage of top-tier porn actors fall into the 7 to 9 inch range or beyond. I don’t know about you, but that, like much of what we see on a screen (of any kind), just doesn’t feel like real life. It’s like what most of us post to social media: only the highlights.
And so I couldn't help but wonder: If porn wrote the script, do we still have to follow it? If the only bodies you see are outliers, do the outliers start to feel standard?
We’ve heard from so many of you who say it doesn’t help that dating apps amplify this. The profiles mention size, and people ask for it like it’s no big deal. In almost every part of our upbringing, it feels like there is an unspoken ranking system that many of us absorbed before we even had language for it or knew what to do with it.
And then there is the psychological part. Surveys consistently show that many men believe their partners prefer someone larger than average, even when research suggests satisfaction is influenced far more by emotional connection, foreplay, and communication than by size alone. There is a gap between what we assume people want and what actually creates pleasure.
So culturally, yes. Size carries weight, and it seems like porn made sure of that.
But personally, here’s where I stand on it: