4 Things That Brought Us Joy This Week

Including what PJ is doing to make our life more organized and my favorite track from 1989 Taylor's Version.

Greetings everyone, and happy Friday!

We made it. We’re here. It’s the weekend, which for us means staying in tonight and making dinner (or ordering a pizza, TBD on that), letting the kids stay up an hour later than usual, and then ending the night with popcorn on the couch as we finish our favorite new show (which is listed below!). We also have a Halloween party to go to tomorrow night which I am so excited about.

Why, you ask? Because I truly love any excuse to dress up (in whatever capacity the occasion calls for) and go to someone’s house and mingle for the evening. PJ, on the other hand, does not. He likes being home more than I do, but since the aforementioned Halloween party is his cousin’s (who also happens to be his best friend), he’s just as excited as I am. Thinking of getting one of our mom’s to watch the kids and heading out for a spooky evening surrounded strictly by adults.

Speaking of Halloween, are you dressing up this year? What are you going to be? We’ve had the idea for our costumes for months now and we’re so excited to piece them together. Remember last year’s Halloween?

Our town goes all out and we have so many people coming over to our house all night for cupcakes and chili and apple cider. It’s truly something we look forward to every year.

Also, and not for nothing, but we let the kids pick out their own costumes last week, and I am going to be honest…they’re not at all the vision that I think either of us had for them. For some reason, I have gotten it in my head that I either like us all to dress in family-themed costumes or I want them to be something classic, like an astronaut or dinosaur. It makes zero sense, I know, but this year they’re all a mix of different characters, and one of them is just a costume of honestly nothing, but they each got to pick out their own, which brought them joy, and I feel joy when they feel joy, so I guess it’ll work out for everyone in the end. I just need to let it go.

Also, happy 1989 TV release day to all who celebrate!!! I leaped out of bed at 6:30 this morning and immediately put in my AirPods so I could listen to the entire thing. Have you listened yet? More on what I think about it below.

Okay! Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Here’s the rest of the issue:

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1. Minimizing

PJ has been on a cleaning rampage for the last week and a half (as I write this, he is up in our daughter’s room bagging up clothes that don’t fit her anymore), going through every single room with an empty box or bag and putting in them items and clothes we no longer need, which, in our case, means a lot of things. I honestly don’t know where most of this stuff comes from. It’s like we look around at the rooms in our house and there’s just stuff everywhere. Clothes that haven’t fit the kids in months. Little plastic toys from doctor’s offices. Pieces of other toys that don’t work anymore. Things just accumulate so much quicker when you have children and when you don’t actively try to declutter and minimize on pretty much a daily basis. A few months back, Jenna Bush Hager talked on The TODAY Show about how she will get rid of her kids’ items in her home that they no longer play with/need and it brings her so much joy (I tried to find the clip for you but couldn’t locate it!). PJ has never related to anything more in his life. I think there is such a sense of freedom in letting go of things that no longer serve you in the season of life you’re in, whether that’s clothes that no longer fit you, things you no longer use for whatever reason, or items from the past that no longer reflect who you are today. We donated all of the items to Goodwill and hopefully they will bring someone else joy one day, too. Have you decluttered anything in your life lately?

2. Our son is off his epilepsy medication

After over three years of taking it twice a day, our middle son Riah, 6, was finally able to wean off his epilepsy medicine and officially took his last pill a few days ago!!! You can imagine our happiness and how much this means to our family because it signifies that his epilepsy is under control and it will no longer be an issue as he gets older. Riah’s epilepsy would cause him to have absence seizures where he would stop talking in mid-conversation and just kind of look up for about two or three seconds. Years ago when we first noticed them occurring, we thought he was just daydreaming or “zoning out” as we called it at the time, but PJ always felt there was more to them. Sure enough, after multiple tests, he was diagnosed with epilepsy, and his “zoning out” was actually him having petit mal seizures. His bio-dad also suffered from seizures, albeit more severe, so it all adds up. Riah has been the best trooper through all the years of tests, pokes, and hospital visits, never once protesting or crying or putting up any kind of fight. He has taken medicine he didn’t like, first in a nasty liquid form and then, for the last few years, in a big orange pill, and never once complained. I am in awe of and inspired by his bravery and resilience, especially at such a young age. Our hero.

3. The fall leaves

Our favorite season has not disappointed us this year! All around town, everywhere we look, the leaves are these rich, beautiful shades of brown, orange, yellow, and red, and it brings me so much happiness that I could burst. There is something so magical about experiencing fall downtown, walking the kids to school on the sidewalks and passing by all the trees as they wave hi to us with what little leaves they have left. But then, there is also fall at the farm, with all the lushness of nature surrounding you on every side. I can’t decide which one I love more.

The below are from yesterday at the farm and early this morning during sunrise.

4. Keep and delete

Every night at dinner as we sit around the table, we play a game called Keep and Delete, where you list your favorite part of the day (the thing you want to keep most about it) and your least favorite part (the thing you would rather delete). It’s a great exercise in counting your blessings and forces you to really evaluate your day and appreciate things you may not have recognized at first. When we started doing it, we would always have to be the ones to bring it up, and even then Anna would say she wants to “keep” all of her toys because she didn’t want throw them away. We would explain that’s not exactly what we mean when we say “keep”, and she would only then sort of get it. But now, after playing for a few months, our kids are the ones who always bring it up at dinner and initiate playing. And Anna understands now! She fully gets the idea behind it and it’s just been so damn cute to see them evolve with this little game we play at dinner time.

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The Weekly Digest

📺 Watching: Bodies

I’m just going to call it: Bodies, the limited series from Netflix, is my favorite show of the year. I loved everything about it (the sets of London in the 1890’s! the gay storyline! the twists and turns and mysteries!). I don’t want to give too much away, because it’s a very twisty-turny show that deals with different time periods and storylines that are all connected, but basically a dead, naked body keeps turning up in the exact same alleyway in London decades apart, and it’s up to the chief inspectors of that time period to figure out who this man is and why this is happening. It’s so good, y’all. The perfect fall show and is an absolute MUST watch! (photo via here)

📚 Reading: The Woman In Me

Britney Spears’s new memoir, The Woman In Me, is a book I’ve been excited about ever since she announced it. When it came in a few days ago, I couldn’t wait to dive in. It’s a heartbreakingly honest read of a woman who grew up in front of the public and was treated in hard-to-fathom ways, from scrutiny of her body to her personal life, to the public’s obsession with whether or not she was a virgin. It reads a lot like her Instagram, which, do with that information what you will, but I actually appreciate that kind of writing. Not everything has to be perfect or written poetically for it to be good. And this book is good, for many, many reasons. I was obsessed with Britney Spears starting in the 3rd grade. I was nine years old and had her dolls, her CDs, and one time even went to her Kentwood, LA home (I was nine!!) and took a picture outside her Serenity Estate:

I will always root for her, even if the story is much deeper and complex than I think anyone on the outside will ever know.

🎧 Listening: 1989 (Taylor’s Version)

FINALLY!!!! Once upon a time her favorite album of mine, 1989 (Taylor’s Version) is here and I am in love all over again. Her voice is so much richer and mature, though I will argue the same thing I did with Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) that is actually takes away a little bit of what made the originals so great: the rawness in her voice at the time. But still, this new album is incredible and a great reminder of what made the original 1989 the best pop album of the decade. The from the vault tracks are my favorite she’s released so far, with “Suburban Legends” being the standout to me. I also love “Say Don’t Go” and “Is It Over Now?” soooooo much, with the latter being my second fave of the vault tracks. I can’t believe none of these were on the original deluxe version. I remember the first time I heard 1989. I was sleeping on the floor of my mom’s friend’s brownstone in Brooklyn because we were there visiting her. It was October and the windows were cracked, letting in the cool autumn air as I held my iPhone close to my ear so I could listen to Taylor’s first pop record. And what a record it was. Ahem, is.

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Let’s Chat

Q: Do you think much about moving away from Tennessee?

A: We do! Lots, actually. We’re constantly looking at houses from all over, and follow so many homes-for-sale accounts on Instagram, like Circa Houses, who make it hard to not want to pack everything up and sell it all and move away. During the height of the pandemic, when everything felt scary and hopeless, we were routinely looking at farms in Bedford, NY and actually found a few that we thought about going to look at. We were tired of the politics of our town and it was just a messy time, so we seriously thought about moving away. But we know, in the end, we never could. Our moms and families live here and we could never leave them and the community we have in our little town. We were both born and raised here, and I think we’ve settled for life. Well, for now, at least.

Q: How to you get work life and home life balance?

A: I have said this for a few years now, but I truly don’t believe a balance exists between work and home life. I think one will always suffer a little more than the other no matter what. And that’s not always a bad thing! I just don’t think a perfect balance is attainable, at least not without bringing in external help like a cleaner or a nanny of some kind. If we’re spending all morning on work, that means there are clothes that aren't getting folded or dishes that aren’t being washed. If we shoot a campaign at night, that means that it’s pizza for dinner instead of one of us cooking. There will always be a little give and take in any department of life, but I think the important part is realizing and acknowledging that and being okay with it. It’s only when we expect every area of our life to be perfect and work out the way we want that we’re disappointed. So, let’s all accept that we’re human and can’t do it all and I think we will all be a lot happier!

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Every week, we receive packages from sweet readers. We don’t get around to posting about every single one, (though I wish we could!), but I thought it would be fun to highlight one every now and then and say.

The above care package is from a longtime reader, Keith, who always sends the most thoughtful and sincere gifts, and always includes something for our kids! This time he sent a fall care package that included all of our favorite things: fall scents and candles, wine, things to bake, LGBTQ+ books, and a few other fun items.

Keith, thank you SO much!! You are the sweetest.

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Links From Around the Web

• I made this delicious apple cider cake last night and oh my goodness it’s so good.

• Our daughter cut her bangs at school this week (!) and we wanted to be angry, but it was honestly just kind of cute.

• Five countries you’ve never heard of, but should definitely visit.

• How many animals have ever existed on earth?

• 19 things we know for a fact a true, but are hard to comprehend. Number 4 is mind-boggling!

• The iconic and stunning Sex Education house, appropriately called The Chalet, is for sale! You can view the listing here and see what the real interiors look like.

• Speaking of houses, is Taylor Swift’s Holiday House haunted?

• The trailer for Netflix’s new film Maestro with Bradley Cooper and Matt Bomer looks so good.

• “Supporters of Robyn” is the new “Friends of Dorothy”

• How great is this corduroy shirt jacket?

• And finally, an entire account dedicated to gay Halloween costumes, in case you need some inspiration this year.

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Thank you SO much for reading!!! Have a lovely weekend and a great Halloween, and we’ll see you next Friday! xoxoxo