What to Say When Coming Out to Your Parents (or Anyone)

AKA our coming out stories, plus two house tours and narrowing down what exactly our design style is.

Watch

Fallout. Another great recommendation by our best friends. Based on the best-selling video game of the same name, Fallout tells the story of a future set more than 200 years from now where a catastrophic war has caused survivors to take shelter in underground bunkers called Vaults. It’s set in a “retrofuturistic” society, so the set pieces and costumes are gloriously retro and 60’s, or what people in the 60’s thought would look like the future. It follows Lucy, a young woman who leaves her home in Vault 33 to look for her father (who was taken from the vault) in the outside world, which has been pretty much destroyed. She meets a few interesting characters on her journey and things get messy but it’s a hell of a ride. We’re already hooked!!

You can watch Fallout on Prime Video.

Read

A bunch of articles about Taylor Swift, of course. To celebrate her new album, I’ve been consuming a bunch of posts about her this week, and I simply cannot get enough. I’ve rounded up a few fun ones, all from New York Magazine, so some of these might be behind a paywall, but if you read one, check out The Best, Worst, and Weirdest Lyrics on The Tortured Poets Department:

Tortured Poets Department: All the Lyrics, Conspiracies, and Easter Eggs

The Best, Worst, and Weirdest Lyrics on The Tortured Poets Department

The Real Reason Taylor Swift Dresses Like That

Listen

The Tortured Poets Department. As if this could be anything different! Upon first listen, we both agreed that all of the songs kind of sound the same and we couldn’t differentiate them from one other. Upon subsequent listens of this 31 track double album, we have changed our POV and we absolutely love it. It’s packed and filled to the brim with words, but the lyrics cut deep and the production, handled by her with her usual favorites Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner, is top notch. I love how dark this album is, and how much more daring she’s being with her words on songs like “Fortnight” and “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” Speaking of specific songs, a few of our favorite tracks are “Fortnight”, “Down Bad”, “So Long London”, “Florida!!!”, “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”, “Guilty as Sin?”, “So High School”, and “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”.

You can listen to The Tortured Poets Department wherever you get your music.

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Happy Tuesday, loves! How was your weekend? We did something kind of fun the other day and it reminded me of what we used to do ALL the time…we toured a house! It was much bigger than ours and had a pool (!) and for 30 minutes, it was exciting imagining our family doing life there. Here are a few photos if you’d like to see:

We love our house so much, especially since it was the home I grew up in, but we feel like as our kids get older, we’re quickly outgrowing it, so it’s fun to look at houses and browse what’s on the market right now. Who knows what the future will hold?

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I came out when I was 19 and PJ came out when he was 20, so we’ve both been out for almost half our lives. It’s become our new normal; our everyday, almost like breathing, so at times, it’s also become easy for us to take for granted how comfortable we are being out with everyone around us.

A few months ago, we met a new friend at the gym who just moved here for work. He’s young and just finding his footing in our little town. He’s only out to a few people, including some friends and family, but not his whole family, and not to the person he loves the most: his mom.

He’s been dating this guy for a few months and it’s so cute to hear him talk about his boyfriend. They’re in the blissful “honeymoon phase” of a relationship; you know, the period of time when you’re just starting out and everything is roses and butterflies all the time and there are no problems in sight. There are so many phases and stages of relationships, and this is one of the most fun. It feels like yesterday that we were there, too! Okay no it doesn’t, since it’s been 14 years, but I do remember exactly how it felt and it’s a beautiful place to be.

He came over the other night and we all went walking on The Greenway with our kids and he was gushing about his boyfriend, telling us what he loves about him and how they’ve grown so close and how they both bring out the best in each other. It was adorable.

At the end of the night, he confessed he had been holding all of that in for months because he simply didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. He had no one to share in his love and joy for this man that he is building a foundation with, and we both felt sad about that. When you’re young and in love, one of the best feelings in the world is telling people about it so that they, too, can share in your excitement.

His boyfriend isn’t really out either, only to a sibling or a few friends. We went out to dinner with them the other night and listened as they talked about their conservative upbringings and how they haven’t told the ones they love the most about each other yet out of fear of how they might take it. Listening to them talk, my heart broke for how much I could see they are struggling with this. They love each other, but they can’t openly share that love with the world, which, in my opinion, is a big part of a relationship.

When we got home that night and were getting ready for bed, we talked about our own coming out stories and how scary that time in our lives was, but also how freeing it felt, too. Suddenly, in my mind, I was 19 again and deciding who I was going to tell first and how. I told everyone separately and at different times, and looking back, I don’t know if that made it easier or harder.

PJ came out when he was 20, so about four years before I did (we’re five years apart in age). He has consistently said it was the best decision he’s ever made and has never once looked back.

We thought it would be fun to share our coming out stories in case you, too, are struggling with telling your family and need a little inspiration on what to say. It’s never ever easy, even if you already know your family will accept you, but we found it is always worth it. I’ve never talked to someone who has regretted coming out, and every single person says they’re so much happier after doing so, even if some of the people in their life aren’t fully accepting.

Here we go…