On Being Dads and Still Feeling Sexy

We posted a shirtless photo and a few people got upset. Here’s what it made us realize.

We received a little pushback last week after posting a shirtless photo of ourselves on Instagram, something that honestly took us by surprise. We don’t typically receive negative comments on our posts, which we feel grateful for and have worked hard at over the years with our online community. You guys trust us and we trust you. But things happen sometimes and that’s life, and it’s all part of it.

One comment in particular said they were less interested in our content these days because of all our “half-naked photos,” which they think we shouldn’t be sharing anymore because…we have children now.

And here’s the thing. I know the internet is a big place. Everyone’s allowed to have an opinion, and they always, always do. And after a decade of sharing our lives online, we’ve both gotten pretty good at not letting comments like that get under our skin. But this one stuck with me—not because it was harsh, but because it was based on a belief I fundamentally don’t agree with.

That once you become a parent, you’re supposed to stop feeling sexy. That parents—especially dads—are only allowed to exist in this practical, selfless, utility-based role. That being a good parent means completely shedding the parts of yourself that make you feel desirable, confident, or connected to your own body.

I just don’t think that’s true.