"My Boyfriend is Uncircumcised. How Do I Know If I'm Hurting Him or Not?"

Ask Away Issue No. 6

Dear PJ & Thomas,

Hi PJ and Thomas, hope you two are doing well. Not sure how to word this question. I’ve been seeing someone who I have a wonderful connection with, and it’s been going really well for us. My question is: my boyfriend is uncircumcised (which is wonderful btw), but he’s the first guy I’ve been with who’s uncut, and I get anxious because I’m not sure if I’m hurting him or not. He’s never complained, but I don’t want my insecurity of being unknowledgeable to ruin what we have. I know I should just have the conversation, but I’m not sure where to start. Any suggestions?

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

First off, we love how thoughtful you are being about your partner’s comfort—this already says so much about the kind of partner you are. Sex can be wonderful, but it’s also full of little moments of insecurity, especially when something is new to us. Totally normal.

As for how to bring it up…