Dating Advice: 11 Conversation Starters to Build a Healthy and Solid Relationship
AKA how to start your relationship off on the right foot with honest discussions and revelations.
Watch
Dark Matter. I had been wanting to watch this show since I saw the trailer for it last month, mostly because I love Jennifer Connelly and dark, moody thrillers with gorgeous interiors, which this checked all of those boxes. Based on the 2016 novel of the same name by Blake Crouch, Dark Matter stars Joel Edgerton as Jason Desson, a physicist in Chicago who is somehow warped into an alternate version of his life, where almost everything has changed, including his family. He has to figure out a way to return to his previous life and make sure the alternate version of himself that has taken over his real life doesn’t hurt his family. It’s a twisty, mind-bending show that I have no idea where it will go, but we’re along for the ride and loving it so far, plus Joel Edgerton is a phenomenal actor and adds so much dimension to every role he plays. Highly recommend!
You can watch Dark Matter on Apple TV+.
Read
ADHD is Awesome. After seeing us discuss our oldest’s recent diagnosis of ADHD on one of our live chats, the publisher of ADHD is Awesome reached out and asked if he could send us a copy of this new book, and I am so glad he did! If you or someone you know has ADHD, this book will better help you to understand what it is and how to handle it. It discusses topics like what it's actually like to live with an ADHD brain, how to find humor in all of it, how to tackle the challenges ADHD presents and it gives you tools and techniques to play to the unique strength it brings. This book is such a great resource is a must-buy to help you understand ADHD better.
You can get ADHD is Awesome on Amazon.
Listen
Melodrama. A throwback and one that I will never get tired of. I’ve been listening to it nonstop the last few days, and Lorde’s sophomore album still holds up after all of these years, thanks in large part to the timeless and still-on-trend production of Taylor Swift’s favorite collaborator, Jack Antonoff. The synths, the drums, the way Lorde enunciates pretty much every word with that indie girl twang. It all just fits and comes together to create a bombastic sound that was unlike anything else released at that time. The best tracks are “Homemade Dynamite”, “The Louvre”, “Liability”, and “Supercut”.
You can listen to Melodrama wherever you get your music.
Happy Wednesday, loves! How has your week been so far? This newsletter is a day late due to a stomach bug I caught this weekend. I usually start these newsletters during the weekend and add final touches/tweaks on Tuesday before sending them out, but instead of working on this issue, my stomach was working on me being in bed for a few days. It was the weirdest thing, but I am thinking it was just some kind of quick virus because I am feeling so much better today. Thanks for all of the well-wishes you sent my way over on Instagram!
In other news, after I was feeling a little better on Sunday, we took a trip to Chattanooga to my brother’s house on the river to spend the first half of Mother’s Day with my family. My brother grilled chicken outside while the kids played with his and his wife’s dog in their backyard. I helped my mom make the most delicious greek pasta salad that I’ll have to ask her for the recipe to share it with you. After two rather awful days in bed, it was nice to sit back and relax with family and actually eat something without feeling sick.
We were going to go on a boat ride with all of them, but we had to get back to town to make it to PJ’s family’s celebration at his aunt’s house. It was a beautiful, hot day so the kids immediately jumped in the pool while his mom and aunt cut up fresh grapes and strawberries for us to munch on outside. The water was cold but felt so refreshing, especially since by this time it was in the 80’s.
By then it was dinner time, so she ordered a bunch of pizzas and PJ went and picked them up and secretly paid for them, which I was so happy he did. His aunt is the most generous host and always makes us feel so welcome at her house, so it was the least we could do to say thank you for opening up her pool to us.
I wasn’t feeling 100% better, so I stayed out of the pool and relaxed in a chair for most of the afternoon.
And by the end of the day, we left feeling full, both in our stomachs and in our hearts. I can’t imagine ever moving away from our families when they bring us so much joy and love. Life wouldn’t be as much fun if we weren’t doing it with them every day.
Kids. This isn’t necessarily something that should be brought up on the first date, or even the second, but if you’ve been seeing someone for a while and you feel it could potentially lead somewhere else, having the conversation on kids is essential. Do you both want them? Does one want them and the other doesn't? If you do, what path do you feel is best for you both? We talked extensively about kids when we first got together (and had our future children’s names picked out two weeks into dating) and knew we always wanted to start a family someday. That being said, when the time finally came to begin, we questioned if we were making the right decision. Even after a decade of knowing what we wanted, we still second-guessed ourselves if we were ready for children. All that to say, ideas and opinions change over time, so keep that dialogue open to make sure you’re on the same page for the biggest decision of your life.
Life/career goals. You know you’re attracted to each other, both physically and emotionally at this point, but five years down the road, do your goals/morals/aspirations align? Are you both driven or is one of you more so than the other? It’s so vital that you discuss what your plans for the future are regarding your life and career so that you both can see not only the goals you’ve set for yourselves individually, but also as a couple. Liking and loving someone are the easy parts; the more difficult parts are the logistics of sharing an entire life with someone: responsibilities at home, the ups and downs and stresses of jobs, being parents, deciding where you want to settle down and live, etc. It’s an endless list and it’s important that your goals are at least compatible with each other even if they don’t match up perfectly. PJ and I always had an idea of the kind of life we wanted to live one day (children, successful in whatever careers we chose, living in an old house and close to family) and we worked very, very hard to make it happen, and still do.